I have a little bit of a swollen throat, this morning I was pouring out my usual tablespoon of Buckley's Mixture when some of it spilt on the counter-top. I couldn't help but to wonder if this classic cold remedy was a non-newtonian fluid, based on the consistancy and shape of the liquid on the counter. I then realised that Aaron and I really do belong together. I am a nerd with a corny sense of humour that applies what she learns in the classroom to everyday life. After shuddering at the thought of White-ass' naked body I realised that this doesn't describe me completely. There is a whole other side to me, the side that most of you know. I work hard and play hard. Some people may believe that I play too hard. Personally I don't think that this is the case.

I'm rude, intimidating, and shop exclusively at the goodwill and rummage sales. All things considered I am still too hot for you!

I had too much fun tonight

I have not exited my apartment in the past twelve hours. You think that I would be clusterphobic, suffer from cabin fever, ache to stretch my legs. This is not the case. This past year has taken a real toll on me. I am so tired. This past weekend I was at home and I layed on the couch for countless hours, getting up only to fill my mouth.

I think I have an oral fixation. I have a constant need to put things in my mouth. I can date this back to my early childhood says. When I was very young I used to compulsively do gross things such as, pick my nose and eat it or chew my fingernails and hangnails. Not until I was 8 was I truly satisfied when my dentist made me an 'appliance'. It's like a reverse-retainer, instead of sitting on the roof of your mouth it sits inbetween your top and bottom teeth. Highly unattractive, but still an object to occupy myself. I had to wear this aesthetically horrifying mouth piece right up till highschool when this oral accessory was promptly replaced by gum chewing. In highschool I chewed up to four pieces of gum per day for approx 10 continuous hours. I would chew until my facial muscle aches I would then just let the gum sit in my mouth and shape it with my tongue. Even today when I decide to indulge in a piece of chewing gum I get fatigued muscles in my lower jaw. When I was 17 I obtained a job that frowned upon gum chewing. To further amuse my demading oral nerves I began drinking water. To this very day I can be found at all times equipped with a large volume water bottle. I constantly need to put things in my mouth. While studying today (which was in three or four 45 min spurts) I drank 5 litres of water. Which leaves me with the question, why don't I have a boyfriend?

Say Goodbye


What Dave Matthews Song Are You?
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I am great when it comes to attending class. I diligently wake up every morning and catch the bus to the dreaded 8:00 class and religiously attend the remaining classes. During this time I take excellent notes and pay full attention. After all that hard work and dedication, I lost my course notes for the exam I have this sat. This totally sucks.

Give me your love stick says:
Give me your phone#

Tonight I my walk home I was caught behind a smoker. For most people this would be an awful nuisance. I love it. I think that the smell of cigarette smoke is so romantic. It reminds me of summer concerts, bars, and forbidden sex. The is an mysterious uncertainty that I associate with cigarette smoke. Some of the best and or most memorable times in my life have occured amoung a circle of vapour carcinogens. Surprisingly, I myself am not a smoker. Nor have I ever been. Strangly enough I can still look at the individuals at the bus stop lighting up and think 'what a disgusting habit'. However in some way I also feel like an addict. Walking behind this man I had a great urge to approach him and ask for 'a but'. I think that it's the fobidden attitude society has. My entire life is comprised of things that society promotes; obedience in school, polite friends, mild sex life, limited alcohol consumption, sometimes I just want to do something bad.

This nice weather tires me out. I've already started my summer napping routine.

One of my friends has a real dink for a boyfriend, so for the past few days we've been 'ring shopping'. Not just any ring shopping, iron ring shopping. A couple weekends ago Western held the Iron Ring Ceremonies, when all the 4th year students recieve their Iron ring, symbolising their academic accomplishments as an Engineer. As of recent we've been grazing through the good looking 4th year guys trying to conjure plans to talk to them and develop some sort of relationship before they leave. So far our plans have been childish and unsuccessful, but time is running short. All we have to do is make contact with one and the whole circle will open. We had this great development today. There is this guy in 4th year mech that can't dress at all but thinks he's super hot shit. (think grade 8 attitude and fashion smarts) He studies in the Student lounge that I've spent countless hours in this year, he's an asshole. Today I saw him walking in front of me and he stopped to take a drink. I thought to myself 'This guy is such an asshole' Exactly then he turned to me: "So, did you win?" (I was recently voted V.P Academic for the Undergraduate Engineering Society and had campaign posters up)
"Yeah, I did."
"Congratulations"
a bit more small talk went on until I excused myself. It was so random. I didn't even know that this guy knew I existed let alone would take the initiative to talk to me (which I highly respect, but would have appreciated it more if I didn't have pre-conceived idea about his personality). I'm not even sure what would inspire such a conversation, he's leaving school in 20 days. Perhaps the 4th years have equivalent ambitions to that of myself and my friend. We want to marry engineers and it's practically incest to date someone in your year and/or dicipline. Maybe there is more hope with our mission than we originally had thought. That would be great.

I'm in the engineering lab right now working on this major course. Behind me are these total pricks. In general if you were to ask me what the people in Engineering are like I would generalise and say 'Just like all the other people that you meet, but slightly more ambitious and open to knew things' But of course every batch has it's bad apples. Behind me are three guys, dressed to the nines for thier presentation, bashing eachother's sections in an unporductive insulting manner. These men are total assholes. They also think that they're hot.

And then everything stopped
I've lied in bed all morning thinking about it. I had a great time this weekend, but at what price?
Do I have reason to believe that I should be forgiven?
It takes me back to last summer, what I endured and if he's payed his loan in full.
Did this weekend put me in debt?
How much do I owe?
Am I in a position to pay?

Today I skipped class for the first time since a Monday this past September. The monday when Bill and I got back together.

in 512 hours this will all be over. I will be free for the summer and the snow will be gone forever. Three weeks until I begin my new life.

Tonight I had a Women In Engineering meeting. In celebration we decided to order pizza to thank the council's effort this year. Since the meeting was at 6:00 we ordered the pizza at 3:00 to make sure it was on time and the order was correct. I'm sure if you've ever ordered from Pizza Pizza you're familiar with thier one number system, and they then connect you to the correct Pizza Pizza. At ten to 6 the pizza man calls to tell me he's at the Engineering Building. I, waiting at the front door with a friend, try to communicate with him and find his location. After 25 minutes haggling over directions with the driver and Pizza Pizza customer service, neither of which speak good english, the driver is still convinced that he is in the right spot and refuses to move. He hands his phone to a student in the area. At the time my friend, Alison was trying to communicate,
Alison: "Where are you?"
Student: "Outside the lecture hall" (this is argument that we'd been having with the driver)
"You mean 1059?"
"No, Lecture Hall One."
"Of what University?" (Engineering at Western doesn't have a lecture hall one)
"Waterloo"
"Are you serious, are you fucking serious"