My $10 horn has gone up to $26 : ( so much for the "Dinner or french horn?" decision.

So she called to apologise.. really she had nothing to apologize for, but it was nice that someone cares. sometimes you just feel very alone and no one cares.

My mom thinks that I have had enough of highschool.. I think that I've had enough of life.

How come everything always goes to heck AT THE SAME TIME!

Today at work I got talked into sweeping the floor, I don't know why eveyone complains about doing it. Not only did they reward me with a pink lady, but I also got to use my arm muscles. Soo exciting!

So he's 42, and asked me if "I was an easy lay" and then told me that I "needed to be spanked" so it's completly legitimate that I give him the cold shoulder hey? Then why do I feel sooo guilty doing it?

So, maybe I figured out what's bothering, me? no, probably not, but it does make me think. I pride myself in being independent (of a malefriend), and technically I have been since the spring (although it's not like I was entirely alone since then. But I am a good catholic girl though) I think now I wish I had someone that I could share absolutely everything with. Which I myself made impossible, because of my extreme lack of trust in men (which despite efforts has remained non-existant) OR maybe my intentions aren't pure at all, and I feel like an early adolecent, but have developed superb self-control.... most of the time. OR maybe it's 'cause your feelings about someone don't change over-night, they're the same person, why should you feel different?


yes, it's definatly the third one. I'm not going to lie, I'm weak, in more case than one. Why do I have to like people for who they are? Why can't I just like some jerk 'cause he looks nice anymore? getting over him is SO much easier.

So we came out 7-3, and face them again next week 'cause they want to go to 6 pts instead of 5. dumb. It was a good game though, not rough at all, and 21 got an unsportsmanlike for swearing, some think never change. I really banged up my knee though, the best idea is to just not tell my mom and then be allowed to play next week. last game ever? *tear* we'll see, if we lose we play another one after that, so either way it'll be good.

So yesterday most of my teammates took the 401 home, but my mom and I couldn't find the exit off the contestoga pkwy so we decided to take the back roads to woodstock and then get on the highway but then when we got to woodstock we noticed teh dense traffic coming from the highway and decided that it was closed, because it was my mom sis and I in the car and *surprisingly* we talk so much we didn't even notice that the radio wasn't on. Good thing we got *lost* though, we left the arena 30 min after everyone, and arrived home 4 hrs before everyone. So I guess the fact that we couldn't find the exit was like a blessing in disguise.

So I was doing my physics homework, 'cause I'm screwed for the test tues, and then my mom imforms me that she's going to bed, I did a few more problems, and came to the conclusion that I was exhausted at couldn't keep my eyes open for another minute, time 9:24... yes.. that's what I get for trying to achieve quality sleep by not taking my iron pills since friday, that would mean that I would have been awake for exactly 12 hrs today, pathetic.

new blog, I promise this one will be more successful than steph, what a let down, anyways, this girl was also at camp, concert band alto sax, she's a young'n though, so you might not know who she is, great girl, love her to pieces.

So... I was at the regionals this weekend... my last ringette tournament ever *tear* : ( And so anyways, we beat out Goderich in our division (to go to the tournament), because we're an amazing team. We're now playing them for the huron-perth championship, last time we played goderich there was a fight, trouble. So anyways, we go to the tournament, ready to bring home the gold. We get our schedule, 9:00 sat night, we play goderich, how the f*ck did they get in our tournament! (yes, the swearing is my extreame competativeness coming out)
So we went into the game, and needed to come out with a win because of the results of the other teams, we were playing 2 15min periods (usually we play 20) and *red beard* (this ref that had history with my team) was reffing. The result, 1-1 tie, we aquired 28 penatly min, 4 of them were mine! (honestly! a good girl like me getting a charging penatly? doesn't he know who he's dealing with?)
and they earned their 20min AND at the end of the game we had 2 in the box, and they had one, then # 21 (the fighter) got a penatly, and she threw her gloves and stick into the fans (unsportsmanlike penatly) THEN she AND HER MOM start yelling at the ref! (This never happens in ringette!) so the ref kicks them out of the arena, but they don't leave, they wait till the end of the game for our team to come into the lobby, #21 and mom start pushing and swearing at our team! Of course I was not involved I'm not one to get heated, at least not over a game and some immature 40 yr old.
So they left us in our dressing room until goderich had left the parking lot, because our parent are a billion times more mature than there's.
Today they were playing in the final game after our consolation game, and a few of our players (including me) stayed to cheer for the opposing team, and goderich had brought, what I assume to be their boyfriends, but I wouldn't have laid claim to them. So these boys were mouthing off to our players, telling us that we sucked and stuff, nothing intelligent. BUT this big mouth on our team provoked them by calling them on, (yes she is a 16 yr old girl challanging a 18 yr old boy, try to tell me that went over well) and her parents remove her from the arena before there's a confrontation.
The reason I'm telling you this? We play them tomorrow night, pray for me.

So I was at a ringette tournament in Waterloo this weekend, and I thought that i was missing out on soo much blogging, no no i didn't

So I went to the dotcor, he provided no answers, and definatly no comfort. His remedy? Never ever drink coffee, pop, tea, or eat chocolate, or any other kind of caffine. Sleep enough so that you don't need an alarm to wake you up. Oh right, and the best part, don't accept a program that requires you to break these rules. In other words, don't go to school. I'm even more lost.

So my brother had to call back his driver's ed teacher.. and I took the message, he's like. "what's the number" and since I have a super duper memory I'm like "876-2650" even though I took the message over an hour ago. So my brother calls the number, and was like "Is Doug there?"
pause
man: "Doug...doug..doug.. ahhh"
john: "does doug live there?"
man "umm... doug? ahh... you sure you mean doug"
john: "yes doug.. I think I have a wrong number, sorry"
man: "No.. ummm.... doug?"
john: "no.. sorry"
and my brother hangs up. My mom sis and I are all in the room laughing our butts off, and I'm like "Oh sorry it must be -2605" so my brother calls, and forgot it was long distance... so when he went to dial again the phone rang,
man: "Are you sure you weren't looking for Tony?"

So am completly in the saddest/worst mood ever. I tried "sleeping it off" no, sleep just doesn't happen. It works like this... I expericence absolutely super huge mood swings, and get very unhappy for no apparent reason. Then because I'm experiencing this self pity I just get mad at myself for being so selfish, which causes me to be furious and sad at the same time, very vunerable state. And then I've got my family nipping at my toes 'cause they think it's absolutely hilarious when I huff and puff around the house. It's not like it's just now either, it's quite frequent. So I hope the doctor has some great explanation for this 'cause I just won't stand for it anymore!

I got this in my hotmail box, and it said to send it to ten people... meh, I'd rather blog it, it's good

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. I
looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in hi eyes. My heart went out to him.So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me,so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home,and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle,the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came,and there was Kyle with the huge stack
of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on we would always be friends, the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day,I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back said,"Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.Your parents,your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying all his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile."Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.

well, who am I kidding, I can't keep secrets.

So it actually wasn't that bad, besides the fact that I get out of jazz band and realise (when I got to my locker) that I have NO car keys. I know you probably know, but I live absolutely in the middle of nowhere, no keys = no way home. So I pranced around the school for a while, braving the dirty looks I got over my *controversial* kilt, to find a janitor to see if they happened to pick any up. I didn't think that they would be in the office 'casue you think that if someone handed in keys they would make an announcement 'cause it SORTA important. So after going on a wild goose chase, lead by the janitors, I finally convinced them to check the office, sure enough. *rolls eyes* administration.

So I had a very very very very very bad day today.. and I don't want to talk about it!!!!!!

So my dad got a sabatical (paid time off work to further his education) his options... Waterloo and Western. That eliminates four of my options.

"Be somebody--be a horn player!"
Dr. John Q. Ericson

oh right.. I forgot.. over the break I *convinced* Steph to start up her own blog page, yes you kids from IMC probably know her. We'll see... hopefully this will put pressure on her to blog more 'cause I know she reads other people's frequently!

TB and I got branded a year 5 days ago... *shakes head* so young, so innocent

I always find myself filling in a blogvoice, and then getting scared and not posting it

I am a terrible reader. I just don't take the time to read every single word, just the nouns, and then make sense of it. Like I'll be running around reading blogs, and 'cause I don't have my own blog links I used everyone elses... (but not kev's 'cause I can't see them!) so I end up reading thier blog again, and it's different then the first time 'cause I pick up more words. Maybe that's why some people make no sense/sound waaay too intelligent.

Some people don't care about what others think, and some people don't care about others. I wish less of the customers were the second kind.

I changed my "No Sweets" pledge to "No unreasonable sweets" this way I *might* actually make it to two weeks. Right now I'm on day 4... and white cupcakes don't count.

I almost made it to bed tonight before 12... almost

Do I look like a taxi driver? seriously they're their kids THEY should drive them around! grrrrr. >:(

It's 11:40 and I haven't worn jp's at all today! I'm so proud of myself. Although it's more out of laziness 'cause it would have been too much effort to walk all the way upstairs just to change.

Dave is coming to toronto in august...

silly blogger

I've decided what to do with my mad money (babysitting/tutoring), spend it on lottery tickets! Just the little under $5 ones... nothing addictive. I swear

We went out to lunch to this *fancy* restaurant, and I still managed to find something on the menu that let me eat with my fingers, booya!

At work today the new guy was all over his girlfriend in the parking lot today. Not a postive effect on the bakery ladies. He knew we were watching too.

My back feels like someone embedded gravel into my muscles, but really it's just bad knots. Everyone at my house is tired of playing the *bone or muscles?* game... so basically I'm in pain till someone gives in, they can't put up with me whinning forever.

I think that I must have bitten my lip 8 or 9 times today. I bit it twice yesterday while eating and then it got swollen, and then it just kept on getting in the way, I really hurts.

I hate how bloggers went on vacation, it didn't bother me at first, but now I'm just annoyed. But as a result I've extended my daily reading to more blogs, compliments of Jen's links. So maybe being abandonded by the other bloggers will have a positive effect : )

I don't know why these crazy boys like fidel castro, Last night I went to go visit TB 'cause she went to cuba last week, and she said that the people in the hotel got paid $8 a week, and you weren't allowed to tip them! and then she said that if you were born in a town you wouldn't be allowed to leave that town unless you found someone to trade houses with you. It's just crazy stuff.. I don't understand how come people would admire someone that dictates the lives of others. But really I know nothing other than what I've been told so maybe they see it differently than I do.

So I worked today


No sweets for two weeks: day 0
grr... this is a very long two weeks

On a lighter note... my mom and *toured* the residential area 'cause my mom is afraid of left hand turns (I knew I showed have driven). We were at the Avenue and Glengrove intersection twice today, and we also ventured around Edith dr, Orchard view blvd, and Roselawn ave, 'cause we got lost when Avenue goes around Upper Canada College. We were going to go to Belly's for supper, but we decided against it because my mom thought that it wasn't worth risking our lives over (ie. mom making a left hand turn onto Younge in rush hour traffic) I was undecided though, Belly's for supper or living till tomorrow? it was a toss-up. And we didn't know exactly where it was, I've been there before, but it was dark, and I remember having a dispute with the person on how to get back to their house (even though I've never been to their house before, I just like to argue) so we had to skip it. : (

So today my mom and I went to the *big city*. We went to a Engineering Science presentation. U of T = culture shock. Seriously I went to school with dutch catholic farmers. In highschool I meet a handful of orientals, 6 black people, and a whole bunch of italians. I thought my highschool was cultured. As far as religion went, there is this one guy in a bunch of my classes that believes he is god... but I don't think he's serious.
So here my mom and I were waltzing around the campus, and I was the minority, serioulsy, I was the only person all day with real *red* (it's more like a coppery-orange) hair and I felt country.
My parents are fairly conservative, and aren't used to all this and my mom was like "are you sure you want to do this?"
I'm not sure, Yes I'm tired of living in a bubble, but I'm afraid that I might get swallowed by the sea of people. meh, I could always work at sunripe for the rest of my life.. and I hear there's good money in prostitution. ;-P

my hair would be much longer if I didn't cut it.

The more I read other people's blogs, the more I realise that I am more sheltered than I thought and *waste* my life going to band practices and playing sports.

So we had a *pumpkin party* at my house today, yes.. my dad grows large pumpkins, this fall he grew a 900 pounder. Yes I live on a farm. So we had our *nieghbours* over and they talked vegetables, for six hours. They were talking about how bad graduated licencing was for country kids (who have been driving since they were 8 anyways) but it was good for the city kids. One of the wives said ('cause the women don't talk vegetables the whole time, just most of it) that you've never driven until you've driven in toronto. Which reminded me of once I was reading this book, and it had this joke....

first prize - a week in toronto
second prize - two weeks in toronto
third prize - three weeks in toronto.

oh yes, and tomorrow I am willfully going to toronto to visit my university of choice.

I was eating breakfast with my sister, and she grabs this glass from the cupboard and was like "Anna, look at this glass it's soo cool, when did we get it?" (it looks like an upsidedown party hat, but it doesn't come to a point)
"A while ago"
"Oh I haven't seen it before"
"That's 'cause I usually use it" ('cause it's big and then you have to fill your glass up less often)
Then my brothers come in to eat and out of nowhere Johnny was like "Lyd! your so stupid!"
Lyd, "What?"
Johnny " that's not a glass! it's a flower vase!"

So during the break I have four days off, I'm only going to be home two of them, today being one. grrrr, the days are just too short.

I fibbed Jen, the 12 is a monday.

So I made this *No sweets for two weeks* pledge 'cause of an incident several weeks ago where I may or may not have eaten 60 cookies in 8 days. The deal was every time I broke the pledge I had to start over again. Did I mention that I work in a bakery?

Am I the only person that has school tomorrow?

I was driving home from the concert tonight, alone, listening to Dave, while coasting through fat flakes. *sigh* is was gorgeous

"I have so little to do this week, it's awesome. Basically, speech and Alg/geo test. Not too shabby all in all. Plus, it's a FOUR DAY WEEK!" - bus

doesn't that mean that your going to blog often? seriously what is this boy doing with all his spare time? and I still don't have right side bar privilages!

how come my thoughts numbers disapear after a while?

Anyways.. I was helping my brother with his math, what did I get out of it?
"oompa loompa doopady doo
I have a perfect puzzle for you
oompa loompa doopady dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?
Eating as much as an elephant eats,
What are you at getting terribly fat,
What do you think wil come...of...that?
I don't like the look of it"

Did I miss something, is today an official blog holiday er something? how come I'm the only one that's updated their page today?
'cept Niki and Dave... even though I don't know them I'm sure glad they blogged today otherwise I would have gone insane. I need some kind of daily link to the outside world!

So last night my dad did my income tax, and I ended up getting back a small figure because of the *large* income I had last year. So.. this means that last year I was a paying citizen BUT in november when the federal elections cam up I wasn't allowed to vote because of my age, even though I am a tax payer! I think that I should get all my money back!

So we had a snowday today, and I was supposed to clean my room and do my music project.
My sister and I watched the dave video, then slept till 10, (I know I'm a bum) the got up at ate lunch, watched the price is right, and then played the sims for like 2 hours! it's addictive. So much for homework. It's okay though, I just have to scrape by these next few days and then I'll be set for a week!

Anyone who read my *thoughts* there a two different nathan detroits....

synchronised nose-blowing.

I had a ringette game tonight.. against Godrich. Massacered them, just as I had predicted 12-2 no mercy. And there was a fight, I've played for 11 yrs and this was the first fight that I have ever seen, the girl on our team was a former hockey player. Figures.

This is what I want to do when I grow up

I love it when you put your hair up when it's wet, and then take it down later that day and there's this burst of shampoo smell and for a few moments you feel shower fresh.

oh right... Last sunday (I know it was a while ago, but I'm just starting to collect my thougts beyond the play now) Stephanie Bush and I MCed the "Share the Music" concert for IMC (*sniff*) it was great! Ron George dressed up like a *fierce* wolf. (Ron is the horn player from IMC, the hose player) when they played peter and the wolf. It was great.

Stephanie Bush and Kara Ciccarelli have hot hair, hey.

So I was talking to this guy who just so happens to be the biggest simpson fan ever (but that wasn't why I was talking to him) and then I ended the conversation with "meh". Then he was like ('cause he's sorta *out-dated* he owns this super worn out "rage" shirt, and I think that's the extent of his wardrobe) "what's with everyone saying meh? they said it on the simpsons last night!"

I'm in a bum slump. I think that I need to start setting an alarm.. 9:00 is no longer sleeping in, but the usual wake-up time. I do have a class that starts at 9:22, it really doesn't mean anything though 'cause it's my 8th OA, and it's music (I'm not good enough to care). But still, I'm not sure how administration is going to react to the fact that we're 4 weeks into the semester and I've already miss 7 music classes, but for some *unknown* reason have perfect attendance in all the others.

How come Mr. Brennan doesn't trust me to take care of his daughter at the after party this evening? I don't get it. Why does he justify himself with making references to the cruise ship? I am a good catholic girl and I practice christian morals, serioulsy!

I like Jen's page better than kev's. I actually know where Jen's blog links are!

There is something mysteriously attractive about a guy that drives a stick car.

So the *pit people* went out tonight, actually went out this afternoon/night. It was actually just five of us. There was this guy there that I went to elementary school with, and he's sorta shy. I guess you could say that we were good friends then, but it wasn't really accepted to have guy friends in elementary school. So anyways, he and I have the same sick sense of humour. Like I find ridiculous things hilarious and other people have no idea what's so humourous. It's completely 'cause we went to school together though.

And I thought that I have changed in highschool, obviously not very much.

matinee start time 11:30.. I woke up this morning at 11:35.. I've never ever slept in that late in my life! I knew I should have taken my ferrrous gluconate yesterday. : [

I made a new friend : ). It's incredable were a little risk taking can take you.

No aaron it's not you

"I've got a little more than dough riding on this one"

I want to ride the bus