A few days ago my mom mentioned that when you're dating someone "remember the mood their in on their worst day. This will be the way they are when you're married." Initially I shrugged it off and blamed on the fact that my Dad is just usually grouchy. Yesterday while Janass was down for a visit she informed me that her boyfriend's father had the same advice to give. My mother and this father have absolutely nothing in common, didn't grow up in the same city, or environment. I concluded that the statement was true. I hate that. Like everyone else I want a perfect marriage. Possibly like everyone else, although I persistantly tell myself it's unique, I refuse to settle for anything else. Ideally someone married to another would be in his or her best mood at all times. How could anyone commit to someone who doesn't make them happy?
I often view a relationship as having two roles, the dominating partner and the submissive partner. Maybe this has something to do with my upbringing, but I manage to pick it out in every relationship, even my own. I don't believe that a healthy relationship has these two distince roles. A submissive partner is not happy and a dominating partner will never be happy. In my first serious relationship I found myself taking on the dominating role. Mind you I loved it and lived an easy life. Everything I wanted was done for me no questions asked, but seriously how can you love someone and have them endlessly wait on you? There is no respect there. There needs to be a balance. Knowing this I tried to be less dominating in the relationship only to find myself submissive. As a result causing lowered self esteem and a sense on inferiority. Even worse then being selfish.
I really have no idea where this is going and can't be direct without pointing fingers. Some people make sacrifices for the person they love because they believe this is how they show their love, by doing things they would prefer not to do. My mom hates to cooking dinner, but everynight after work there she is over the stove, ungratified, because she loves my father. She sacrifices comfort in her life to make my Dad's life more comfortable. There is nothing that I disagree with more. I believe that in intimate relationships people should strive for absolute comfort at all times. If this is not possible they are with the wrong person.
Often with certain individuals absolute comfort can not be achieved for both partners. This happens when people are selfish. These people need to grow up. They need to open their eyes and realise what is really important in life. Doing things for their partner are not sacrifices. In an ideal relationship each partner wants to do things for the other to show their love and appreciation. I don't really like to make dinner for myself. I love cooking dinner for my family (mother) because it is so appreciated. Although at the same time I hate cooking for my Dad. Usually because it's an order, and done agaisnt my will.
I think that there are a number of wonderful giving, amazing people out there. For some strange reason they often marry selfish jackasses.

Today at Christmas Eve mass I decided that I will never ever spend more than 3 weeks in the town of forest ever again. I do not belong here and I have no idea why I keep on thinking that I might.

Growing up I had one essential component of my daily diet, cheese. I don't eat much at school because it's not very economical and doesnt' keep well in the bottom of my backpack. Today I indulged and am I ever paying for it. I hate you lactase. I hate you more than you hate me.

I just got home from a classmates house. The night before the exam I spent the last two hours talking. This girl is unbelievable. What is even more mysterious is how she makes me feel. Like a mother, she makes me feel not only special, but amazing. She makes me think that I can do things that no one else can do. What is even better is that she honestly believes it. Talking to her constantly changes, develops and challanges my thought and perceptions on life. I feel the most intelligent around her. We both have an equal contribution to the endless conversation. I want Joelle to be in my life forever.

I've been spending a lot of time in the libraries the past week or so. Here I come in contant with a significantly larger number of women than I do in the engineering building. I have also noticed that one in every three people studying in the Weldon (arts/social science) library are Jewish. One of my closest friends at school is Jewish and informed me that 10% of Western's population is Jewish. She therefore has good odds of finding someone to dat as discussed on a previous blog. She also informed me that the concentration of jewish people had a strong influence on her decision. Apparently her other option was York (puke). I have also noticed that Jewish people at Western, specifically girls, love to play matchmaker. Every conversation that I sit in on after meeting another one of Joelle's friends they always discuss people they know, or just met and who they think they would click with. In fact on the way out of the library last night we were discussing how nice one of our friends are. Joelle turns to me and says "We have to find him someone. Someone with is very Religious. Difficault, but there has got to be someone on campus." Imagine that turning to me, the farthest thing from any type of culture, and implying that a may know, or be able to find, someone in the Jewish community. In a way I was flattered. On a simular note I have also noticed that I see many girls that remind me of Jen.

Today I feel invincable. I can conquer the world. It's bed time but I don't really want to go. I'm trying to savour this feeling for as long as possible because I know that I'm going to have to be reminded after my exam tomorrow.
Luke: "Anna, Do you think that Bassi is going to ask a question on Bioremediation tomorrow?"
Anna: "No, probably not."
L: "Why not?"
A: "because I dont' like it."
Although I realise how silly this theory is, this was still the basis of my studying this past afternoon. Hopefully my professeur and I are on the same wavelength *crosses fingers*

People saw me tonight drunker than I ever habve been in a long time. Please forgive me for the ridiculoos things I've said, although they were trye, I dikdn't mena to tell anyone! I love short skits.