How come all my midterm marks suck?

I get akward stomach aches, anger easily, force myself to smile. Why is it that I'm only content in the presence of books or Bill?

The best thing about headphones is that they double as earmuffs in the cold weather!

I left my room after bonding with blueberry cheesecake, wandered into the living room to discover the empty pint of Haagen Dazs chocolate icecream I havd an intimate encounter with earlier that evening. After some quick reminicing I migrated towards the refridgerator and topped of 750g of vanilla yogurt. Hello midterms.

I'm very thankful that I don't pay utilities. Last night I fell asleep with all my lights on. I woke up breifly in the middle of the night, realising that I had passed out, and rolled over. I can't help it. I'm so tired all the time. Sleep is so refreshing.

Also, on the bus this morning I overheard another interesting conversation
"Hey Michelle? Remember when we were in pennsulvania and I really wanted that sweater but the clerk was rude so I threw a fit and didn't buy it?"
"Yes"
"Well I found it on the internet. Turns out it's going to cost me an extra $35 to have it shipped here"
"American?"
*nods head* "I have to have that sweater"

The conversation continued as the girl explained what she owned that would look perfect with this stupid sweater. I glanced over, bleached blonde hair, liquid eyeshadow, manicured nails, frosty lipstick, you know the type, the Western girl.........

There is all this talk about people excited to come home for thanksgiving. I, on the other hand, am not. I definately miss my parents and need to get out of school for a bit, but coming home is not the nest retreat. I can not venture any farther northeast of london than my house. I drove to work and wal-mart on friday and I hated it. I hated every minute of driving through that city. It brought back old memories that I wish to completely erase. Driving near my home town (forest) was even worse. Do you know how it feels to be a stranger in a small town? How about a stranger in a small town you grew up in. I feel like I moved to the desert for 30 years and no one recognises me anymore. My ringette coach of most of my elementary/early highschool years asked me if I was a friend/cousin of my sister. "Um.... no, I'm still Anna, the girl you coached for 7 years."
Even if I have a home anywhere I don't want to acknowledge it. This is not saying I want to terminate the friendships I've left/am leaving behind. It's the scenario/routine I want to leave behind. Strangly enough I think that the only Sarnia function that I would gladly partake in is smoking/drinking/eating nachos at Two Amigos with Retard Row & company. The only people that I wouldn't never associate with in highschool. Possibly because it's my only memory that hasn't been stained. Or maybe I like the idea because Bill will be having a great time and I like to see him smile.

Last week I was maxing out at 5 and 6 hours of sleep. I was on a roll! This week I can't even make it into my pyjamas. On several occasions I wake up in the middle of the night, still fully clothes in my outfit from the previous day, with all the apartment lights on. I'm not getting near the amount of work done that I was last week. I really need a break I suppose. Or actually take these silly iron pills.

My mom and sister both came down to see me this weekend. They both hate my bangs.

Last night I was in Scarborough. Yes, I attended the UofT Varsity Blues Homecoming 2002 as a member of the dispised Mustang Marching Band. In all honesty, I do believe that there were more fans representing Western than UofT. Understandably though. I do believe (I'm not sure I'm very unfamiliar with TO) that the football field is a fair distance from main campus, UofT does not have a strong football team and it was on a Friday night. Regardless of the mild cheering competition, We played our hearts out. I think that I was the only member that arrived home that didn't lose their voice. In the fourth quarter it started to pour rain, we kept on playing. Since it was an away game, the cheerleaders stayed infront of the Western fan stands the entire game. The got right into all of our ear tunes and other little jingles, coordinating their throws and lifts with the music. I didn't watch much of the game, mostly cheered and tried to aquire free shit from the 'Blue Crew'. We got caught in traffic on the way home. I didn't get home until 2. The bus driver dropped me off at an intersection 1/2 a block from my house, but from the opposite direction that I usually come from. I never realised how scketchy my neighbourhood is, or possibly it just seemed that way because it was 2 in the morning. My sister's coming down today!

Since Saturday I've been avoiding confrontation with a member of my life. This morning I had a dream about the confrontation. It went quite nicely. Let's just hope the real thing goes just as smoothly.