So I sent in Westren eventhough I did get accepted to chem eng at Uof T and haven't heard from Wat yet. I think it's the right decision because I was talking to this guy at work who has just finished a science degree at Mac and he was telling me not to be a hero. He thought that he would be a hero, going to Mac for a science degree but in reality it doesn't matter where you go. He told me that an engineer is an engineer, it doesn't matter where you got your degree from. He also told me that the greater part of the university experience is the social aspect and when your in a difficault program you can not have the full experience... or you drop out because you did. So this guy (Iggy) is a smart man he's pretty down to earth, he's a musician that's had his fill of life experiences, including cancer, so I really value his opinion. Did I base my University decision on this? no, I just decided to mail my acceptance in before I changed my mind.

So we're having student council elections at our school this week and there are these two girls that were going to run for minister of student affairs together, until they were told that there was only one position (which everyone seemed to know except them). So they are now running against each other. But they have already made their posters. To save them some time, and a bit of money, instead of making new ones they just went around and changed the "and" to a "or" on all their posters. Gees... these are the kind of people on student council next year? and I thought this year was bad.

I don't know how to get what I want out of the internet. There is just tooo much stuff. All I want is a play summary, not a documentary on the author. This is so frusterating.

So I was talking to this guy at work about this other guy and I said "he smokes" being a negative comment. Then Iggy (the guy from work) says "so you wouldn't date someone because they smoke?" implying that I'm shallow. I don't think that I am. Smoking tells you a lot about a person. Seriously though they choose to spend their hard earned money on something that they know is killing them. I feel that smokers do not value the life that they were given or the lives of others. Don't get me wrong I don't hate smokers, I have lots of friends that smoke, including my brother. Sure it bothers me when the they come over smelling like burnt money mixed with signs of lung disease but they are still good people. I just wouldn't date one.

I wish I had better people skills. My sister is an overachiever. Sometimes it makes me feel incompetent, but always proud.

The other day I picked up my brother from work and he was said
"I could do mad ups on that," (talking about our *neighbours* basketball net) "Did you know that mad means crazy"
of course this was not new to me, but my brother thought that he was using the newest language. And considering he was. The only reason I knew was 'cause I have contact with the outside world, unlike my brother and the entire population of rural Lambton County and most of sarnia. I then informed him of the word "props", he loved it.

I got a notice on thrusday that there is a package for me at Beckers because it is too large for my mailbox. BUT no one has gone to town since. (I know it sounds pathetic, no we don't camp out in our house, we just don't go to Forest often.. Sarnia all the time though). This makes no sense to me because it wouldn't be a university letter 'cause the only one I have left is Waterloo and it won't be larger than the westren one ('cause there was acceptances for two programs in there) and no one ever sends me mail except the bank. And since the post office isn't open weekends I have to wait till monday afternoon to see what is there. I'm killing myself trying to figure out what it is.

Today I told my friends little brother how to play the ultimate frisbee... but I had to make up some stuff 'cause I was never too sharp on rules.

It really makes me mad that I can not see my own page or voice on others. It is very frustrating. On top of that I just finished 1984 and when I read books I completely get absorbed in them with full visual pictures of what is going and and it takes me forever and a half to read them. So anyways I'm completely messed up right now 'casue I think that I AM Winston Smith and that the memory is unreliable. My brother isn't really watching tv, I just think that he is. It's crazy, doublethink.

Oh right, and this guy came into work today with a shirt that said "friends don't let friends go to Western" and then in smaller print underneath is said "or u of t.... or mcgill.... or york.. or (a long name starting with a c)" seriously this kid is balls out 'cause if I wasnt' wearing my work uniform Linda and I would have took'm. Ignorant mac student.


And I think that it's really funny when people say tripp'n. "don't be trip'n" I don't want to laugh in their face, but I'm laughing in the inside.

So my friend had a party tonight and I had already budgeted my time for the weekend and I found out about the party after I had done so. Which was okay 'cause wandering amuck a bunch of drunk kids isn't my idea of a good time. So anyways my mom found out that I was avoiding the social scene (because my brothers were going, I know this may sound weird, but since my brothers are 16 and 20 and we live in a small town we have a lot of the same friends, or at least our friends are siblings who also party together) and suggest I go. So I went. For a total of 33 min. It's not like I didn't have any fun at all but, I feel that my time would have been better spent discussing how Winston prepares for hate week. meh, at least my mom will sleep better tonight.

Today I got home right after school and am spending the afternoon floating the pool chair reading 1984. I took two breaks. one ten minute to pick asparagus, and another 30 min to eat supper. While eating supper I realised that I never want to move. I want to live in my house forever. I don't even want to work outside of the building, which is completely possible. Just me and a dog. Away from the rest of the corrupt world. That would be ideal.

So right now I'm being faced with this struggle. and I was talking to my brother, who told me to read this friend's icq info and it might help.

.·:*¨you laugh at me cuz im different, i laugh at all of you cuz you're all the same¨*:·.

it helped. She's great. I don't care if my *best friend* thinks that she's too young to relate to. In fact, I don't care about anything my *best friend* thinks.

My mom had the talent when it comes to rhubarb. She makes the best rhubarb creations, but sometimes she gets out of hand, like last night
"Mom can you buy some popsicles"
"Sure Anna, but for now there is some icecream in the downstairs freezer"
"Okay, that'll do"
"you can put some rhubarb on it if you like"
seriously mom what kind of suggestion is that, people have eaten raw rhubarb since the 60's.

So my soccer coach called to today to update me on the weekend events and to see if I could make next weeks game. She tells me that we won lasts week game blahlalala and so one and then she's like "We have a really good team this year" seriously though, like I care. I'm past that whole competition thing, I play for the love of the game, win or lose.

Today I walked into the music room and then covered my FTB so that this (guy) friend of mine didn't smack to heck out of it. And then this (girl) friend of mine says (one that I just got clost to on the b trip) "Anna come over here and let me touch your bum, I want to see what the big deal is" I laughed. it isn't a big deal, I just make it one. I was just shocked. No one has ever demanded that I let them touch my bottom before.

On Fri night we stayed at a hotel in the ghetto of washington and it was very scary. So then the next night instead of staying there we stayed at the howard johnson in washington. it was nice. And my finger nails glow in the dark.

Oh, yes Washington also made me realise that I am intimidated by everyone that has darkish skin. Why? I'd like to think that I'm not racist, but am I for serious?

So I made it home alive.

Washington is crazy. There wasn't a single time that we got on the bus and didn't loose at least an hour because we got lost. This took up a whole lot of our time. And on the street light posts there are signs that say "RUN RED LIGHTS" with the red circle and the line through it like no smoking signs. It was definatly an *experience* and I would never go back.

The Seniors in band are filled with amazing people and they made the countless hours on the bus pass quickly. The first day on the bus ride down we were getting all philisophical (not everyone, just a few) and this one fellow proposed that since the bible is all figurative, when they say that you should wait to have sex when your married do you think that marriage is figurative for extreame closness to an individual that some would classify as love?
This sits with me quite nicely and makes sense because Jesus was a pretty resonable loving guy.

By the way, I'm leaving for washington DC tomorrow morning and coming home late sunday. (band trip)

So I have this guy *friend* that is very materialistic, egotistical/confident, critical and doesn't call me "Anna", he calls me "Willemse" Generaly he's basically everything that I'm not, in a bad way. So why do I have this thing for him?

The more I try to figure out what's going on inside my head the more I seem to relate myslef to Hagar Shipley. trouble.

I had a soccer practice tonight. Now I remember why I won so many pairs of flipflops and have abnormally large heels.

The greatest sweetest individual fixed it so that I can show you guys my picture.


By the way, at the time I thought that it was hilarious because the shoes are absolutely huge but you can't really tell because my dress is covering them. So it just turns out that it's a picture of me.

I beat my sister at the trampoline war

So I tried to post this picture of me from yesterday but I'm not very computer literate. So oh well.. maybe I'll figure it out some other time. probably not though. meh.

So.... anyways... prom is tomorrow, and yesterday I came down with this terrible swollen throught and verge of vomitting stomach ache. So I was going to go to bed at 9 but then I had the incident on the road. Now I'm home but have to wash my hair because I'm gettin git doen in the morning and it's supposed to be dry, and I have to paint my toes. And our school doesn't have an afterparty because the girl that everyone assumed would have it can't. And no one else wants to have it 'cause they don't want to pick up beer bottles for the rest of the summer. And my friend killed a spider this morning so it's raingin right now, and it's only supposed to be in the high teens.. hopefully eveything will turn out.

So I was driving home today down birnam line (this paved road close to my house that only the people that live here drive down) and part-way down there were these two kids on a three-wheeler, and I saw their dog run across the road from a distance. This is no big deal because lots of people use the road for recreation. So naturally since I was approaching people I slowed down, the Dog was in the field on one side of the road and the kids were on the other side. No big deal. I was about ten feet from the people on the three-wheeler, when all of a sudden the dog turns now running perpendicular to me. I couldn't swirve because there were people there (and the dog still would have ran into me) and I couldn't slam the breaks because I might have lost control of the car, again risking the people's lives. So the dog slammed into my passenger door head first and died instantly. I stopped the car
"Is this your dog?" is say the older guy raised his hand, probably in too much shock to say anything.
"I am sooo sorry, I didn't want to risk hitting you" trying to explain myself
"oh that's okay, it's just a dog" he said, while furosiously tapping his foot, maybe on the verge of crying, or just shock.
"I am so terribly sorry"
They guy just nodded and his little brother, my brother goes to school with him, was just staring at the dead dog on the road.
"Did you need any help taking it home?" I'm desperatly trying to redeem myself.
"No we're fine thanks"
so I left.

I feel horrible.

94!! can you believe it? *The Funk* achieved a score of 94% tonight at festival... And it had absolutely nothing to to with the fact that the ajudicator was male and I had a very tight pair of pants on, or our hot shirts. This mark was achieved by pure talent.

Big performance tonight, and I am officially a member of *the Funk*

I absolutely love salami with swiss cheese sandwiches. I've already had four halves today! (two halves for after school/before work snack, two for supper)